check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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