You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
