Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
