You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
zippers are such a cool invention
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
