we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
