He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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