Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
oh god the rape fog is back!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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