so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
