I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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