You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
