so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
