Buhtt sex?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
my sisters under your porch take her home
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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