You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize