Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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