you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
