Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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