this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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