apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
