I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
