I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
