Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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