I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
