My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
