That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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