That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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