It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
