I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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