I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
