Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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