worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
