It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
