It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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