Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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