i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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