and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
