So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
