i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize