I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
