Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
