Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
