It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
