what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
