I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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