Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
