if i can run in heels then i can drive
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
