i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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