Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
