so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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