A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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