I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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