The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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